List of items posted on North Yuba Water District Public Record Documents

Some Silly Satire about a Yuba Foothill Water District - Wyatt Howell

I am troubled by the corruption that continues to plague the NYWD and how committed Buck Weckman is trying to intimidate folks who are asking for answers. Every time I watch a NYWD video, I feel that I am watching Yuba County During the Wild-Wild-West. Buck is the villain, but Buck is not important to the plot in this saga. The Law, well that is the water alliance! They are unsuccessful on stopping the Lucky Bucky Bandits from disrupting the peace because new members keep coming out of the woodwork shooting before they know who the real rustlers even are! General Monster Flat-toppin-Maupin leads Bucky and his Lucky Bucky Bandits, along with Supervision Red-bucket Randy by promising endless whiskey for more dried-up cannabis crops. The district is now a ghost-town, the trail is dusty and the ditch is dry. The Crops are dying at a record pace and Bucky, Red-Bucket Randy, and the Lucky Bucky Bandits are all drunk on cannabis whiskey. Haha! Will the towns people ever wake-up and take back control of the district? The stand-off continues! Stay tuned for future episodes.

The saga continues! Bucky, Bucket Randy and the Lucky Bucky Bandits are laying low after all the shenanigans from previous episode. Today we focus on the district troll, Donnie Marajuani, Crystal Ball the Meth Martin, and of course Flat Toppin Maupin! We will also meet a new character or two that have earned an opportunity in the spotlight. CEQA documents have helped a few join the NYWD circus. Apparently the Lord of NYWD is actually the group at NorthStar dirt ditch and gutter development! Yes they are the real Lords of NYWD. Neil Grabed his nuts and realized they were missing so he turned the attention onto Kamie Loser to determine if transparency was an option. After a public beating by Kamie and Flat Toppin Maupin,Neil caved and admitted his title is misleading and the true power is held by Kamie. So, as you can see by now, the deception is very deep and soon we will learn the real truth! I suspect that we have cheats, rustlers, horse thieves, and perhaps even a few power hungry Grumpy old Men! I believe that you might learn in the future, that Kamie and Neil are running a brothel that employs talent such as Crystal Ball Meth Martin as the madam, Neil is the bone collector to destroy any evidence left behind after a hanging and true to themselves, the Flat Toppin Maupin and Troll, Donnie Marijuani are the puppeteer and clown to distract the audience. As this story continues to evolve, I suspect Bucky and his posi, yes you guessed it the Lucky Bucky Bandits have plotted a place for the next ambush on the Water Alliance and the remaining town folks. Stay tuned for another twisted game of deception in the Wild-wild-West of Yuba County. I hear we might have another Brothel member who may soon join the plot line.

The 5th District Supervisor who represents all of us foothill folks has no spine! Well here in the heart of today's Wild-wild West is Yuba County! Where the people have no voice the crooks are in control and the government has gone rogue. Today, Red Bucket Randy Fletcher showed he is a coward in a gunfight that happened at the ole' Montgomery Wards Corral (Government Center). The gun battle was between the Bought Out Supervisors BOS, and the State of Gold... The State of Gold didn't even have to draw their weapons because they brought the gold bear and Red Bucket Randy ordered that his counter parts put down there weapons and hand over $4 million of tax payers money. Did I mention Red Bucket can climb? He was at the top of the flag pole as soon as he saw the gold bear. Not being particularly happy with the coward of the County, one Board of Supervisor, Michael the peoples Patrolman AKA' Michael P. Leahy was not happy about it. The peoples Patrolman Leahy voted a firm NO vote! While he did vote no, his unpopular vote lost and they will be building a giant highway through the ghost town of Scarysville! They want to make it even less desirable if that is possible?

I hope the 4 million is not another loan from the Bank of Y.W.A. Fingers crossed that a bank robber wont shoot the golden bear and steal the money or we will be triple taxed this round! While the saga continues to show the real disconnect of Government and the towns few remaining folk! One thing I might mention and note, Gary the Mole Bradford was absent as he was on holiday! Was this so the people can't use his lack of action against him during the elections? Is he perhaps another coward in the shadows, I report and you can decide.

How about about Two-faced Andy Stone Vasquez? He supported it during a debate late last year, his buy-outs most have instructed him to stand-down.

I heard that Large Mouth Fish Doug the Lofton was swimming in Ellis Lake and got high from being poked with a meth needle? Legend has it, that he is now growing a second head.

You see in the Wild-wild West, the Laws are open to the likes of the people! Bucky the system Wackman, Crystal Ball-Meth Martin, the Lucky Bucky Bandits, along with the NYWD Troll, Marijuani all have the reins on the County Coward, ole' Red Bucket himself. Now while this is all going on, we have a group of jailbirds running lose in them hills too! They are lawless and think they are flawless! I shall call them the counties Lawless Dusters that make things real unclear. It is said that they are paid to persuade! Are they any good? Not real sure. As we watch the town folk drift further into the hills trying to escape the shenanigans, they are simply driving deeper into the deceptive trap. They are now in the local troll's control, they will likely fear crossing the bridge to return to Scarysville. Now friends, it might be a good time to start preparing for a popcorn break before returning to the saga, because I have a funny feeling that things are going to get even more complicated. Enjoy you day in the last of the Wild-wild West! Yuba Style. A person just can't make this up.

The Saga continues!
Yuba County, where the Wild-wild West is still alive...

The disconnect is more widespread than once believed! The Eastern portion of Yuba County is plagued by the pollution of NYWD rouge men of the Board. The problems reach much further than the Board, they have the bridge Troll Marijuani, Bucky Wackman who moonlights as Red Bucket Randy's puppeteer, Crystal Ball Meth Martin, Flat Toppin Maupin, The Lucky Bucky Bandits, Nutless Neil Graber, Lord Kamie Loser of NYWD and NorthStar, and the Lawless Dusters. There are a few ladies of the John Malodorous Brothel that are trying very hard to make it into the saga listed as whore-able mention. Western Yuba County has failed to give the residents a voice or fair representation just like the elected NYWD men. Like the Eastern side of the county, the western has it share of characters that seem to be working with the folks to the east to keep us silenced. The Hwy 70 by-pass was killed by coward of the county, Red Bucket Randy and his partners in shame, Sticky Ricky Mayoa! Why you ask? Simple, Scarysville will become a ghost-town with no business! They like it as a Zombie town where people don't know their names, day of the week, or where to crap or beg next. You see if you keep them poor, high, and un-educated then you can do as you wish with little protest.

So, lets look at how the lawless government seems to keep mis-representing the people. Hwy 70's By-pass is gone even though the folks of Keep70safe showed the impacts it will have on Scarysville schools, farmland, and the residents of D-10. California Gold, Red Bucket Randy, Gary the Mole, Large Mouth Fish Doug, and Andy Two Faced Stone all silently supported the efforts of California Gold's vision, bringing five horse buggy lanes all the way to Oroville. I guess they figure that Oroville residents are more worthy of growth and prosperity. I must note, Patrolman Leahy is the only one who did advocate for the residents while the debate ensued. Leahy even made the impossible trip to D.C. by horse asking for Federal and Marshall support to bring the law back to order in the Lawless county. Now, let's look at Ellis sewage Lake! Mad Money Rice Mathews offered to fund pumping river water into Ellis Lake using his hydraulic mining equipment to wash the sewage out and make it clean again. Sticky Ricky Mayoa and the Scarysville City Council voted against his donation offer. They explained that they had robbed the peoples bank YWA and will be sharing the wealth of the taxpayer's monies to help Scarysville clean up Ellis sweage Lake. The time frame is slow (100 years), they say it is due to a lack of vision and technology before the water problem will be resolved. They actually seem to like the two headed fish growing in Ellis sewage Lake, they say people come from miles away to help further pollute our sewage pond by dropping dirty needles into the water, along with urinating, and defecating in it. I was told by local a local historian that some of the best carnival attractions come from Ellis lake! Two headed fish, three legged ducks, and the one-eyed goose all came from the sewage. Yuba County is also the proud host for the #1 breeding grounds for the carnivals at the river bottoms providing seasonal carnies to operate local fair rides. Most even come with a record, so they get paid less because they would never turn employers in for a violation of minimum wage.

Lets ride East where the gun-fighting continues in the hills. The Lucky Bucky Bandits are back at it trying to further divide the Water Alliance and town folk. They have brought another gang to assist in the fight! The Yuba Lawless Dusters have joined forces with the weak and tired Lucky Bucky Bandits. The Yuba Lawless Dusters are paid mudslingers who are joining this episode of the saga. It is said that they came straight from Scarysville and other areas surrounding to help the worthless Lucky Bucky Bandits. The Yuba Lawless Dusters are paid by the Territorial Disgrace Dispatch. Owner, Wrong Jon Misleader. Misleader is the self-proclaimed area watch-dog over government. He seems 2 endorse the wild and dirty tactics of the Yuba Lawless Dusters. Misleader claims the mudslingers fear the Cross and this is why they have infiltrated the hills for such a small amount of money. At this point all members on both sides of the water issues are reloading and restocking for the next fight near the Brownsville Air Park. I heard the fight will resume when the Lucky Bucky Bandits and Yuba Lawless Dusters awake from the severe intoxication. Tune in later for another episode of the Yuba County Wild-wild West saga. Keep your saddle tight, your horse hydrated, and your guns loaded.

Yuba's Wild-wild West Satire saga continues! Boundaries! Well folks, today we will talk about some of the characters in the last lawless frontier, but more specifically, about a lack of boundaries. While the first amendment of the US Constitution does protect ones rights to freedom of speech, it does not, however, protect the rest of us from their ignorance. We have a troll or two in the West, one known already in the previous episodes of this saga! Donnie Marijuani. Troll Marijuani has earned his name as a previous political profile of the rouge North Yuba Water District. Why is a he a troll? Well, to put it simple, Troll Marijuani was voted out of his seat at NYWD and has since been full of hatred and deception ever since his removal. Marjuani now lives under multiple bridges in the foothills trying to bully folks from visiting foothill friends or supporting local residents water rights. Local self proclaimed legendary bully, and 37 year foothill resident, Buck Wackman uses his power as a master puppeteer. Who does Wackman use this power over? The counties coward himself, Red Bucket Randy Fletcher of the 5th District. The moral of the story today, is based on a complete lack of moral or ethical boundaries! Troll, Donnie Marijuani, and Mr. Bully himself, Buck Wackman have made the cut for todays story line. You see, Ole' Buck does some of his own dirty work, but mostly he relies on help from the Lucky Bucky Bandits hitmen and the valleys Lawless Dusters. The Lawless Dusters are a group of paid bullies! Who pays them? The Wrong Jon Misleader from the Territorial Disgrace Dispatch, oh yeah! and Mr. Buck Wackman.

Now lets talk about boundaries! These yahoo's have zero morals and have zero lines they won't cross! They name call often committing defamation of character and libel. They will also twist the truth as tight as barb-wire until they have completely slandered folks, and that is just the beginning. If you know anyone that advocates for water rights, you now have a target on your back. You won't get to defend yourself in a gun draw or even a draw of words. Nope, your just going to get attacked along with your loved ones. These dudes will even tap into the local brothel and send the sickness of Crystal Ball Meth Martin on you! Now Crystal is Smart for Marketing herself one of the madam's. She fancies herself a master of deception taking as much money to help make a local hero look like a criminal because he or she has a friend in the brothel. As the fights for water rights continue! Please take a moment and make sure that you yourself don't get rustled or hog tied in the violation of boundaries. If you find yourself name calling beyond any type of political satire, you have lost focus. If you find yourself name calling, you have also lost sight of the facts. Personal attacks is what these folks thrive on and when you engage, be prepared for the Lucky Bucky Bandits and the Lawless Dusters to come join the corruption. Beware, Troll Marijuani may blow the bridge up after or even during your crossing to trap you in the likes of the bandits. Ya'll have been warned! Now come-on back for another episode of the unbelievable behaviors in Yuba's nearly lawless Wild-wild West.

The saga continues: There is Gold (water) in them their hills! In Yuba County water is Gold, and it's worth a ton in gunfights and fist to cuff bar brawls. The question we must now all face! Who is Crystal Ball Meth Martin? In a recent article shared from the Apple Fritter Democrat newspaper, it is mentioned that a loan or gift from YWA to NYWD should be granted. The worst part is Flat Toppin Maupin and his apparent Madam, Crystal Meth Martin herself, want to pipe the gold. Why? Well, Spineless Red Bucket Randy Fletcher and his saddle partner Buck Wackman want to profit from the gold! You see, the piped gold will now be able to make it onto Red Bucket Randy's bunny ranch. The name of this, Chest-nutless Grove Brothel and Hen House. Let's talk a little about the money! Why would the sage hen Crystal Ball Meth Martin be the one developing the agenda of NYWD? Why is it that NYWD is asking for money? Why is it that YWA salting NYWD? First, let's talk about the first of these questions! Crystal Meth owns and operates a screw loose company called Smart-Ass-Marketing. She reaps the money from all the local skinflints. She continues stretchin' the blanket leading these chaps at both YWA and NYWD by their scrotum sacks in hope they might get a poke.

Next Question answered:
Flat Toppin Maupin along with some of the Lucky Bucky Bandits and a past troll or two were stashing money away into reserves! It has been noted by Gloating Gary Hogthorne that they have over $5 million. Now if that ain't got you scratchin' your head and smelling fishy, you must be part of the Lucky Buck Bandits and under the thumb of Buck Wackman. Spineless Red Bucket Randy Fletcher certainly is! He is like the spam between Crystal Meth and Ole'Buck! You see the three make the perfect fecal matter-sandwich. I'm told by an old cowpoke, that if it looks like fecal matter, smells like fecal matter, and taste like fecal matter! Then bi-george it is fecal matter. The old cowpoke said he took a bite and it tasted like fecal matter, and he has had the clap ever since.

Last Question:
The royal fecal matter sandwich of Meth-Bucket-Wackman joined Flat Toppin Maupin for some deviltry marm to make some extra gold. First, they must finish salting NYWD under the blind eye of four old blind men! This includes Gloating Gary Hogthorne, Hairy Terry Brown, Eric Saphead Hansard, and Dry Ditch Doug Neilson. These folks all aim to make sure the people are silenced and the dirtbags can further develop the Chest-nutless-Grove and build Crystal Meth her new Brothel and take more of YWA's free money. I suspect that Wrong Jon Misleader of the Territorial Disgrace Dispatch will have his twist on all of this next week from his fire starter paper. Where are all the others! Don't forget that missing Gary the Mole Bradford did not vote, but Spineless Red Bucket Randy, Large Mouth Doug, Michael Patrol Leahy, and Two Faced Andy Stone Vasquez all voted in support of this.

The Saga continues!
Political Satire
Yuba County, where the Wild-wild West is still alive...

In this episode of the political satire, we are going to focus on a big problem and where the real corruption is being facilitated! We will also look at who might actually be running the county. If you think a person could make this type hogwash up, well... Sadly my imagination is just not capable of this level of chicanery.

As we get cracking on our next local election, the temperature is already ascending! What is being anticipated for the mudslinging is going to likely go down in the history books. Who is running is not germane, instead the war will be against any and all that try to beat Crystal Meth Martin's candidate. This will include incumbents who have decided to not use her services. One that will likely be interesting, the public's only ally, Mr. Mike Leahy current BOS. Why is he the one and only ally? Simply put... Mike wont drink Crystal's meth cocktail. We should probably also ponder the possibility of quid-pro-quo. What are there perks or possible kickbacks for making sure a person elected and seated? Another individual to frequent the brothel! Another person to sling meth! Another person to hire a professional Public Relations firm... You decide! So, who is really in command of Yuba County? Red Bucket Randy Fletcher, Gary the Mole Bradford, Two Faced Andy Stone Vasquez, YWA, Large Mouth Doug the Fish Lofton, or the people's Patrolman Mike Leahy? Well, here in the Wild-wild-West, things are just not that elementary. Let's take a quick look at who has a finger in almost every aspect of the county. Yup, you guessed it... Crystal Meth Martin!

Supervisors: District 2 Incumbent, Michael P Leahy Crystal Meth offers her services, but when a person declines to use her, she will pick a person to beat you. Don Chevy Blaser is running against Mike Leahy! Crystal picked someone that she felt could beat Mike and that would take her Meth. She is known to be the West's medicine woman; she serves meth as her elixir. She aims to tarnish Mike Leahy's reputation by paying the Lawless Cross Dusters and Lucky Bucky Bandits to create doubt, skepticism, and to commit a total character assassination. Mike voted with the people and voted No against the hwy 70 funding for widening through District 10. Mike also took a position against the rest of the BOS with regards to the efforts to overturn the judge's ruling against Measure K. These two topics, Mike listened to the people and not his fellow Meth Head BOS or Crystal Meth herself! This is why District 2 Challenger, Don Chevy Blaser has entered the race.

Crystal Meth obviously studied and mastered this art!

Yuba County has many unique qualities! One that I find interesting... Did you know that all the major elected seats are occupied by men? Another factor is that voting for a BOS means that you are also appointing a member onto the Board for Yuba Water Agency. This paints a Crystal Clear Meth picture to me and it also explains the reason we are still living in the Wild-wild-West. Good Ole' Boys mentality! Here in the West, they like to keep the town folk, high, un-educated, and befuddled while the elects are conducting personal business with Crystal Meth while. The guns are always ablaze in different parts of the county to keep the peeps confused. Crystal is clearly the puppet master, now the questions that remain! I sense some sort of backroom brothel blackmail may be the true cause...

Why does she have so much power? Good question

Can she be stopped? It will take a few more elected allies to disrupt and change this level of cronyism.

Does she have any sort of moral or ethical compass? Not as near as I can tell! This individual will stoop so low that even a lily-liver would be embarrassed. Crystal Meth has whitewashed many of these men's past misfortunes and persuaded the brothels painted cats to make darn sure folks vote in her favor. Again, I sense some more backroom brothel blackmail... This is a real boondoggle when you try to understand the bosh.

Meth has plans to spend the money of YWA to build a new Ellis Lake to provide drinking water for the folks less fortunate. She plans to sail the Mayflower to Ellis Lake Island for a Thanksgiving & Taking celebration. The is feast for those without kin folk and those who work for peanuts to add to the lawless deception. The feast will consist of Tofu, Spam, two headed fish, goat, free meth, and pot brownies for dessert. This is a kind gesture one we should all be thankful for during the holidays, but in this case, there is an ulterior motive. The meth will buy her some serious loyalty and some new trolls. These trolls will likely multiply as we set the stage for the elections just around the corner. These new faces will likely be a part of the assault on dudes like Mr. Leahy!


There is a new Doctor in them thar foothills! Doc you say??? Yes sir, she was voted in by the town folk to protect Adams Ale (water!) The Doctor is also known as Annie Oakley, she has been known to pal around a bit with other famous folks like Sheriff Andy Gabe Griffith, Black Steele Bart, Sheriff Earp, Doc Neil Holiday, Charles S Goodnight and the sister of the infamous Jesse James, our own Jeanette Calvary Cavaliere James. Unfortunately, the Doc has become a serious burr under the men of the districts saddle. I am told that the Doc brought her elixir wagon with her when she and family came to the Wiled-wild-West! The problem is that these fellas are always drunk on the Anti Fogmatic Shine made fresh in them hills, so the Doc can't get them to drink any elixir. I'm told that the Doc has a truth serum to get these ole' boys a talkin! The problem is they ain't never sober long enough for Doc to get them to drink it.

"Cowards never lasted long enough to become real cowboys." - Charles Goodnight BOS Mike Leahy, and the Doc are the lone allies of the people! Leahy appears to be the only Supervisor who holds himself accountable to the people! Doc is the only NYWD Board member in the hills who truly wants to represent the people. Doc Oakley thought she would be the voice of the people once elected, but she weren't able to anticipate being silenced by the Good Ole' Boys. By now, most folks know the calico queen Meth Martin is facilitating the behind the scene shit and caboodle's to make durn sure dimwit NYWD Chairman Eric Saphead Hansard stops Doc Oakley from speaking. Crystal Meth Martin hates Doc Oakley! She hates Doc because she has some real smarts about her and could be like an uncontrolled substance if not silenced by Ole' Saphead Hansard. The other three chuckleheads hang fire all to prevent the Doc from taking any action at-tall. The level of disfunction is real, and these men have the combined intelligence of an Ox or a mule! "Conflict follows wrongdoing as surely as flies follow the herd."

Doc Holliday
Recently, Meth wrote a stamp and print for NYWD! In this stamp and print she said, "The Truth Shall Prevail." She also on the back page printed the statement below!

"ALERT FOR DISTRICT CUSTOMERS Please be aware that negative detractors of the District operate under the anonymity of names like North Yuba Water Alliance, Oregon House Dobbins Water Association, Yuba Vision and possibly others. These informal groups are not affiliated with the District in any way."

"Whether a man is guilty or innocent, we have to find that out by due process of law."

Andy Griffith
So, when is the next NYWD Board meeting? Crystal Meth devised a plan and gave these four some free time at the Hog Ranch to sew their wild oats with the Meth dolls. The hidden agenda is to give the 4 men a break so she can focus on her campaign efforts for her new county appointments. The other reason is so she could circle the wagons and get all the rustlers, cow pokes, barons, and horse thieves in alignment to make one giant showdown at the not so Okay Coral in Marysville. "I ain't afraid to love a man. I ain't afraid to shoot him either." - Annie Oakley.

Will the long break give the Doc enough time to hit back when they resume, or will she be further silenced and continue to be bullied? The towns folk need to take back control of NYWD and demand accountability. These people have successfully divided the people to silence them! As we head out onto the muddy trail this Holiday Season, I think it's important that we do our best to acknowledge the vile behaviors of a few of Lawless Dusters. These are the hired hitmen that Meth employs when she doesn't want her own hands to get dirty! She pays these wolfish ten-cent men to bushwack and clap-trap the other candidate. The manor in which these Dusters conduct themselves will without a doubt earn each of them a california collar at some point. Satan himself has more morals than these coots.

"Destiny is that which we are drawn towards and Fate is that which we run into."

Wyatt Earp
Let's face the facts here, if these varmints combined all their brains together as dynamite, they wouldn't have enough to blow one nose. John Wayne once said, "A man's got to have a code, a creed to live by, no matter his job."

with a twist

As we embrace 2020, we must also anticipate another year of campaigns that will include more colorful shenanigans! We have a few new names and faces that have come out of the woodwork that are hopefuls! The challenge is to gain notoriety and traction as they blaze down the campaign trail charging towards a victory or upset. Let us take a quick gander at a few of the newbies joining us and lets also figure out who they seem to align with!

Before the Satire kicks off, I would like to point out that all 5 current BoS have endorsed one person for the open 2021 Superior Court Judge! I believe unless each District requested this endorsement, then these BoS fools are stepping in the dung and abusing the power of office, while clearly not representing the people. Let’s face it, they are free to endorse any cowpoke as an individual! Once they use their title of (Supervisor), they are now guilty of using the power of office to affect the outcome. They are all guilty and should be removed from office and tossed in the Can.

District 4)

We have Joe Conservative Cowboy Henderson! Joe seems to be gaining some traction in his camp from the South County which includes many Dudley do Rights and a few do Wrongs. Is he a straight shooter and will the likes of Crystal Meth Martin and her camp dredge up some skeletons in his closet? Stay tuned and together we shall see. Oh, I almost forgot, Joe is running against Gary Old Mole Bradford. Gary has a new name; Gary shall now be known as Gary Mongo Bradford! The mole has been retired and Mongo is born! If you see a Yak wandering the streets, chances are that Gary Mongo Bradford is in the area. Mongo has hired Meth Martin to make sure he wins re-election and keeps his Yak! Let us not forget that Gary has only accomplished a few of his personal goals! He has zero interest in you as the taxpayer! Never mind your goals or objectives too, remember this is about Mongo Bradford.

District 3)

Doug Lofty Fish Lofton continues to drink and troll the riverbanks installing signs in the river bottoms hoping that his fishy business goes unnoticed. If you get close enough to the Lofty Fish, you might begin to understand the name! Doug gives his district very little accessibility to him. It has been rumored that he is often filling his gut at one of several local watering holes. Running against Doug is a new name, Seth Yiddish Taxes Fuhrer. Seth is another who will likely be exploited by the Crystal Meth if she is able to dredge up some old dirt! Seth seems to be an unlikely candidate for Meth to muster up any real substance other than the Meth she herself may have planted in his office. Trusting Crystal Meth Martin is like trusting a used condom with a hole in it!!!

District 2)

We also have Don the Chevy Blazer who has thrown his cowboy hat in the ring to see if he has enough fire, grit, and support to remove Mike Sock Hop Leahy. Mike has been a good guy in the mist of all the corruption but, is he making a huge mistake by endorsing another candidate while he himself is running? Might this be the extra fire power Don the Blazer needs to propel himself into office and for the victory. Why Mike! Why would throw your Sock Hop weight behind anyone other than your own constituents. This could be the one reckless move that gets bucked out of the saddle and onto the street. If my suspicion is correct, we may see ole’ Sock Hop riding a Jackass or Yak instead of his trusty Horse, Dodge.

Y.W.A. (Yuba Water Agency)

Charley Water Matthews is running for re-election and in a battle with family friend John Nicoletti. The two are interested in seeing who can endorse Yuba County Superior Court Judge hopeful, Melanie Bendorf better! Again, these people are endorsing folks while running their own campaigns! Reckless? I report, you decide!

John Habitat Nicoletti is working very hard to get elected with YWA and remove Charley Water Matthews. John has some strong ties that lend strong supporters, on the other end of the spectrum, he has some loud non supporters who have hit him far below the waistline. John took the negativity and hate much better than most and seems to have moved passed all of this gracefully. One thing John has going that Charley seems to be lacking is campaign signage outside of Marysville.

Yuba Superior Court Judge

We have Terry Umm Spies who is also endorsed by John! Terry has experience in the courts as a judge! Terry has already heard cases in a court room and has been preparing herself for this role for many years. Terry Umm Spies is running against the current Yuba County Administrator’s wife Melanie Bendorf.

I have no idea if Melanie Bendorf has any Judgeship experience? What I do know, she is endorsed all the county’s top brass. Also, I have learned that she is a person of strong morals and ethics, and through her career as (ADA) Assistant District Attorney, she has put away some seriously bad gun toting bandits. In all fairness, I think either of these women are qualified and will do a good job and remain honorable as a Judge.

In summary, I think the alignments are obvious! Crystal Meth Martin seems to be calling the shots and essentially controlling the county as if it were a board game. Some argue Meth is good at her job! That is an individual’s decision to make. What I will argue, if you want changes in Yuba County, then we must elect different people to create a different culture while breaking-up the Good Ole’ Boys.

Wyatt Howell North Yuba Grown Satire

Third World Country
The saga continues...
NYWD: The Seven Dwarfs

Eric (Dopey) Hansard, Buck (Grumpy) Wackman, Doug (Sleepy) Neilson, Terry (Sneezy) Brown, Gary (Happy) Hawthorne, Gretchen (Doc) Flohr, & Crystal (Bashful) Meth Martin.

Today we are going to visit a cartoon filled with characters many will recognize from the Disney film, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Why a cartoon this week! Well even the Wild-wild-West has some rules… The plot must be somewhat believable! Last weeks NYWD was nothing short of a Horrifying -Tale. The lead Dwarf: Bashful Meth lead the rest of the dwarfs into Flat Toppin Jones Maupin’s dungeon for a scary display of absolute control, power, and domination of the Counties Gold (NYWD’s Water). Bashful Meth was able to get a motion approved that allows for NYWD to spend $40,000.00 dollars on public relations. Now, I don’t know about you, but why does a publicly owned district need public relations and marketing firm at all? Well, it’s simple… Six of the seven dwarfs don’t play well with Doc Flohr and block her from being included in the discussion and trust me, it has brought this little district into the limelight and not in a good way.

Sneezy Brown should know better! In this horrifying tale, Sneezy Brown is said to be related to Assembly Member Ralph M Brown who authored State Legislature that guarantees the public’s right to attend and participate in meetings of local legislative bodies. The legislation passed in 1953 and has been used ever since. That is 66 years of practice! Why have these goofus men still not figured this out. Clearly if you watch any of the videos of NYWD, you will notice that the Brown act is violated many times by Dopey, Sleepy, Sneezy, and Happy. Flat Toppin Jones seems to be the ringleader of the goofus men and hides is fairy tale accounting and ending from Doc Flohr and the residents of NYWD. Grumpy Wackman seems to be embed with Bashful Meth! These two can make a cartoon scary because they have zero ethical or moral values to police their egregious behavior. Grumpy Wackman has only one mission, that is to continue his efforts to publicly defame Doc Flohr’s character and bully the other folks in the mountain town of Snow White. Grumpy Wackman just can’t seem to help himself to be a public bully! He receives e-mails and information that is tracked by folks who send them to him and watching the trail of forwards is very telling on how much he is enthralled with Bashful Meth and the Mis-leader, Wrong Jon of the Territorial Disgrace fictional News Paper and fire starter.

This cartoon keeps giving!

Happy Hawthorne wore a baseball cap and T-Shirt to the board meeting because he is special needs! Today he left his helmet off and was allowed out of his padded room to attend the boondoggle. Wow! Very professional don’t you think. Also, worth noting: Flat Toppin Jones and his staff were unable to get the previous months minutes completed because he and Bashful Meth were to busy figuring out how to further divide the people. Flat Toppin Jones had an entire month, but he was distracted by meeting the Smurfs (PG&E) during the power outage! I am sure he waited until last minute anyways so he could blame this on the Smurfs at PG&E.

Doc Flohr asked why the district spent over 25% of the annual budget on Bashful Meth’s company of Smart Marketing. Flat Toppin Jones would not answer the question publicly! He offered that she joins him privately under Smurfs Meth Mushroom for an Meth filled explanation. Dopey Hansard tried to have Flatt Toppin Jones backside by accusing Doc Flohr of band standing. Suddenly, out of the forest came a past member of the Board who stood in front of Rubber Stampers: Dopey, Sleepy, Sneezy, and Happy. She asked the brainwashed members not to shut down Board meetings until January of 2020 because they still have much work to complete. She further urged at-least no shut-down until they had worked through the budget and made sure they were no longer operating in the red. She was ignored as per usual!

People were upset by the lack of concern and Happy Hawthorne said we have 5 million in reserves; they could fund it. Members of the public were angry and tried to speak and the Mighty Gavel was again smacked down… Dopey Hansard is going to be sitting funny after Grand Jury shove that Gavel where the sun don’t shine! How dare he or anyone else tell a member of the public to sit down! Who does Dopey think he is anyway? Dopey Hansard has control and has a complex now because not even his own fellow dwarfs respect him. The four men rarely speak, but when they do, it is very much like watching an episode of the three stooges with Happy Hawthorne running around licking windows. Doc Flohr asked a question of the Board and attorney about agenda Item F. This the legal document and process spelled out for the annexation of Aero Pines. Aero Pines apparently has 1500 water users requesting they be provided with water through an annexation process. This item was uneventful.

Agenda Item H:

Flat Toppin Jones asked that Bashful Meth of Smart Marketing budget be doubled! The current $20,000.00 budgeted for Public Relations is not enough. They are already deficit spending, so let’s give $40,000.00 for Bashful Meth to hand hold Flat Toppin Jones. Public discussion brought some strong opposition and some support to the PR Marketing firm. Then, yup you guessed it! Grumpy Wackman says, “I wasn’t going to say anything!” Please Buck then don’t spread your hate. He did it anyways to protect his investment in Meth. Kinda funny he is against cannabis, but supports Meth! I guess Grumpy Wackman needs to support his addiction to Bashful Meth. She apparently has some sort of Meth spell over all these brainless dwarfs. The item was called to a rollcall vote after the support and protest by members in the audience was shared! This even included one person saying it was war between the board and the alliance! He also said that he would invest into Bashful Meth if he ever were to seek a win. When a roll call vote was requested by Gavel Slapping Dopy Hansard, Ol’ Sleepy Neilson voted yes, but said nothing as per usual! Sneezy Brown also said yes, and nothing else… Happy Hawthorne said yes, and Doc Florh said no and when trying to explain why, she was again smacked down by Dopey Hansard and his Mighty Gavel.

That level of discourteous representation to the public is unconscionable to say the least. The disfunction continues to be witnessed by members of the Grand Jury! The sad part is that they are likely already under a spell of Meth! Bashful Meth and Grumpy Hitler Wackman will darn sure make sure that the Grand Jury is afraid before giving a truthful and honorable report to the public. As per normal in Yuba County, LAFCO should have already shut this down, but let us not forget that Red Bucket Randy and Two faced Vasquez are on that committee so the conflict of interest run deep in the veins of our Local Government. I would like to thank the Smurf’s for restoring the power to our third world country.

Wyatt Howell North Yuba Water District satire